A regular column devoted to developing the skills necessary to lead in the 21st century workplace. 
I can remember the conversation like it was yesterday. A former employee and I were having a discussion regarding delays on a project. We were continually missing deadlines. As I was trying to understand why, it became evident that the project manager was more worried about being liked, than about the project getting completed on time. It brought to mind one of the best lessons I have learned as a leader.
“Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off.” General Colin Powell
When I shared this advice, it hit him like a ton of bricks. The look on his face was priceless. He couldn’t understand it. It just didn’t compute. I think he said something like, “If that is the best advice you have received, what is wrong with you?” I laughed and then turned to the source of this advice and shared the following with him.
“Good leadership involves responsibility to the welfare of the group, which means that some people will get angry at your actions and decisions. It’s inevitable, if you’re honorable. Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity: you’ll avoid the tough decisions, you’ll avoid confronting the people who need to be confronted, and you’ll avoid offering differential rewards based on differential performance because some people might get upset.
Ironically, by procrastinating on the difficult choices, by trying not to get anyone mad, and by treating everyone equally “nicely” regardless of their contributions, you’ll simply ensure that the only people you’ll wind up angering are the most creative and productive people in the organization.”
There is so much truth in these words, no? Think about it – if being liked is your priority, than would you ever make a decision that would put that in jeopardy? I’m not thinking so. And that’s just not good business. So if you are choosing to “be liked” and allowing that to be your decision making compass, then you are failing as a leader. Being liked is important, but it’s not why you were hired, was it?
If you are choosing to “be responsible” by confronting issues and delivering hard messages, than you know 9 times out of 10, that person is coming back to you within a couple days, expressing their gratitude for helping them become more. It’s this commitment to helping your employees grow and get better at what they do that leads to them liking you.
Be a leader. Be responsible and the liking will take care of itself.
